For the last 20 years, haters everywhere have been bagging on pumpkin spice, complaining about how overused it is and how anyone who likes it is a basic white bitch.
I’m officially entering the war on pumpkin spice, on the side of pumpkin spice.
Anyone who doesn’t like pumpkin spice is a fucking nerd. Pumpkin spice tastes good and smells great. It’s not even complicated to make. It’s literally just a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger, and cloves. It’s made of some of the most flavorful and fragrant spices. How can anyone NOT like this stuff?
It’s true, pumpkin spice is overused. They’ve got pumpkin spice everything now. Just the other day I saw pumpkin spice tampons.
But did it ever occur to you idiots that there’s a reason pumpkin spice is everywhere? It’s almost like it’s everywhere because people are buying it. Why would people buy it? Because it’s fucking good. If pumpkin spice wasn’t any good, then most people wouldn’t like it. If most people didn’t like it, then they wouldn’t buy it. If people weren’t buying it, then nobody would sell it. But it sells like hotcakes every fall. Ipso facto, pumpkin spice is great, and haters always gonna hate.
People complaining about pumpkin spice being overused are basically getting upset because other people like something that they don’t. When you talk shit on pumpkin spice, this is how you look to me:
You look like a little autistic kid. If you hate pumpkin spice, then you probably have autism. Which is cool, I’m not judging you for being you.
But you’re definitely going to hate my new Sonic the Hedgehog OC, Pumpkin Spice the Hedgehog:
His powers include drinking pumpkin spice lattes and bitchslapping haters.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I get why the pumpkin spice hate exists. Pumpkin spice was popularized by Starbucks, and Starbucks is overpriced trendy garbage. I’m always down to ride the Starbucks hate train.
But that doesn’t mean we’ve got to hate pumpkin spice too.
Do you hate coffee just because Starbucks sells it? Probably not.
Do you hate pumpkin spice just because you’re a stupid hater? Probably yeah.
Do you hate pumpkin spice because you genuinely don’t like the flavor? That’s just, like, your opinion, man. But I’ll respect it, because that’s just how I roll.
